The Contemporary adventures of C-Daddy
April 2019
"Callum, old boy - you've done it again"
As he sat there at their small coffee table in a little old run-down cafe in Brooklyn - his choice - Cal stared purposefully out the window, in a trance-like state. Just across the road, in an adjacent - and much nicer - cafe, Mila Kunis was enjoying a coffee and a scone with - well, it was Justin Timberlake, but Cal hadn’t even noticed there was another person there. As soon as Cal had spotted the renowned beauty, his gaze had locked firmly on her movements - his brain signalling to release all blood flow to his loins. His altered state of consciousness, otherwise known as “C-Daddy”, was kicking into action.
In the meantime, Mila had just received a creme-filled scone, and was about to take her first bite. As she picked it up and brought it toward her mouth, which was wide open in anticipation, she chomped down on the delicious baked goods, only for the creme to shoot out unexpectedly, and cover her mouth and nose area - in and around the mouth, essentially.
With his mouth now hanging ajar, his breath heavy, his eyes watered up and leering through the - now steamed up - glass window, Cal had succumbed to C-Daddy, who was now in complete control of his movements. With a dick full of blood, and barely any left in his brain, Cal let out an involuntary mutter.
“You’re unreal…”
Suddenly, but without breaking his stare, Cal began to hear a ringing sound in his ear, that came and went every few seconds. It seemed to get louder, and louder each time. Slowly, it began to de-fuzz, and started to sound vaguely like - words, perhaps. He felt a warm, but strong, sensation on his arm, pulling him towards whatever it was. The words got louder, and clearer.
“Clah”
“Claaah”
“Caalah”
“Callah”
“CALLUM!”
Go tobann, Cal broke from his trance-state, and turned away from the window - his mind racing to piece together his whereabouts, and what was happening.
“Why are ya pullin’ mah arm Ciarah?!”
Ciara, his girlfriend, who had been sitting with him the entire time, looking aghast, was quizzing Callum.
“What are you looking at Callum? Why are you breathing so heavy - are you ok? Who is unreal?”
With only a blurry recollection of the last 15 minutes, Cal quickly looked out the window, to try piece together the situation, and come up with an answer for Ciara. His eyes scoured the external landscape. After about ten seconds of silence, he knew what to do.
“Look Ciarah - it’s Justin Timberlake…”
Ciara immediately fixated on the famous popstar, dropped her line of questioning, and took out her phone to record.
Cal sat back, relieved, smug, and thought to himself - Callum, old boy - you’ve done it again.
About C-DADDY
Who is C-Daddy?
C-Daddy - the man, the myth, the mug.
Infamous singer-songwriter, eggshaker, and producer of Platinum award-winning album, The Calbum, who recently launched his line of Lady Perfumes known as, The Callection.
Famous for his uncontrollable sexual urges, C-Daddy is also the founder of industry-leading sex toy manufacturer, Californication, which was launched in 2011 with his flagship product, Riled Up - a dildo shaped exactly like his head.
Revolutionary Model
With years of catwalk experience behind him, referred to as The Calwalk in industry circles, C-Daddy can be employed as part of fashion launches, product launches, or promotional events. He is not afraid to sell himself - in fact, he has been known to take pro-bono pole-dancing work in order to enhance his image.
In 2012, he was referred to by The Leinster Leader as, "Eadestown's greatest, and only ever, male model" - a description fitting for the revolutionary Coventry-born Irish/Scottish/Welshman.
Private Events
There's nothing he won't do for a dollar!
Private sessions with C-Daddy himself can be arranged, with varying hourly rates depending on the request. No limits apply - all genders and non-genders included. Females only.
Customers are responsible for their own property; stolen stripper coupons will not be refunded.